British English vs. Malaysian English

Who says our English is teruk?

Just read below - Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-the-point, effective etc.





WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS Britons: I'm sorry, sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.

Malaysians: No stock.




RETURNING A CALL Britons:

Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone call for me a few moments ago?

Malaysians: Hello, who call?




ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY Britons: Excuse me, I would like to get by. Would you please make way?

Malaysians: S-kew me.




WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?

Malaysians: (pointing at the door) Can ah?




WHEN ENTERTAINING Britons: Please make yourself right at home.

Malaysians: No need shy shy one lah!




WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.

Malaysians: Where got? WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER




Britons: I would prefer not to do that, if you don't mind...

Malaysians: Don't want lah.




WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE. Britons: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice? I'm trying to concentrate over here.

Malaysians: Shut up lah!




WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION. Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment..

Malaysians: Die lah!!




WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG Britons: This isn't the way to do it. Here, let me show you.

Malaysians: Like that also don't know how to do!




WHEN ONE IS ANGRY Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me?

Malaysians: Celaka you!